“Matthew is here love, Matthew …” I remember those words as if they were spoken yesterday. You see, we had been on team green during our first pregnancy and had decided that Lance would announce the gender once the baby was born. We – both coming from families with older brothers – were hoping to have a boy first but were of course excited either way.
Fast forward two years and I was pregnant with the boy we now know as Zachariah. That December I went to my 18 week anatomy scan, had the ultrasound technician write the gender on a slip of paper and seal it into an envelope. Next, I went to a local children’s clothing store and brought the cashier two separate outfits, one for a boy and one for a girl. I left the store that day with an outfit wrapped in a Christmas package, eager for Lance to open it when he came home from work that evening. You must understand that at this time I had it absolutely set in my mind that I would have a girl as my second child. I think this belief came from the fact that my mom and both grandmothers had a boy and then a girl. I was next in line, right? Well, not according to that blue outfit Lance pulled out of the bag that evening. Our second child, Mr. Zachariah entered the world the following spring.
I remember how people’s faces fell when they discovered I would indeed be having another son. You see, the “American dream” family is a boy and then a girl and then you’re done building your family. Or as my husband likes to joke there is a half child out there running around somewhere (the average American family is said to have 2.5 children). We have gone from a culture of prizing boys (likely for the help they could provide the family income and the way they carried on the family names) to a culture who views boys as a nuisance, likely because of the feminist revolution our country walked through in the 1960s and 70s. And so why then in a world that prizes girls and more or less disdains boys do I rejoice in being a boy momma? I wholeheartedly believe that the Lord is Sovereign and therefore the fact that our family has started out with two sons is no mistake.
There is that old children’s rhyme that goes something along the lines of “girls are made of sugar spice and everything nice, boys are made of snips and snails and puppy dog tails.” Well, not quite. Boys are made of adventure and imagination, fierce love and devotion, some mischief, minds that are eager to learn and hopes to grow up to be like their daddy. They are made of grit and determination, silliness and fun and most of all sweetness.
As I watched my boys romp through the apple orchard earlier this month, sword fighting, I was taken back to my own childhood days and the memories I have from playing with my older brother. There is something special between the bond of siblings. I love to watch my boys pretend play together and to enter into the worlds their imaginations create. It is one of my favorite past times. It wont always be that a swing can take us under the ocean, or that an empty dirt bed hides a volcano.
Perhaps my very favorite part of being a boy momma is the fierce love and devotion they have for me, as their momma. They adore me and I them. While there is definitely a strong bond between a daddy and a boy, there is something different between a mother and her sons. It is an affection I am blessed beyond belief to experience twice over. It looks a little like Zach’s eyes brightening up every time he sees me in the morning and cheering “mama…mama..hi mama” and a little like Matthew flinging his arms around my neck as he kisses my cheek, telling me he never wants to leave and that when he grows up he will marry me. Its them knowing me as a safe place and their constant.
Don’t get me wrong, boys are no more perfect than girls are. These boys keep me on my toes with the mischief they are able to get into. Books pulled off of shelves, dirt on the patio, broken dishes, climbing on all the things (quite literally…all the things) and siblings that squabble with the best of them. Like us all, my boys are simply sinners in need of God’s grace.
They will learn, and speaking of learning they take delight in experiencing what the world has to offer them. Matthew is knee deep in a tractor obsession and wants to know why combines have springs and what year and model the tractors we see are . Zach is learning to talk and stringing more and more words together. Lance and I love sitting back and watching them as they discover new realities.
Speaking of Lance, these boys want to be just like him. They adore their daddy! Rushing full force into his arms as he gets home every night, wrestling on the ground or using him as a jungle gym, riding on his shoulders and working with him in the garage are just a peek into ways they enjoy spending time together. And perhaps I am biased but I am sure they have the best daddy out there! I have said it before, and I will say it again, the Lord surely has restored what the locusts had eaten (in me losing my dad early, but then years later providing my babies with surely one of the best daddy’s out there). Our boundary lines have indeed fallen in pleasant places!
Another thing I love about my boys is their determination and grit. Zach has a spirit that nothing can stop. His physical development has taken even pediatricians by surprise. These boys don’t often get hurt (they easily brush off little bumps and bruises) but if they happen to be hurt we simply “saw off their arm” and attach a new one and all is better. Of course, this is all pretend but somehow at this age the silliness works. I love their toughness!
These boys of mine are all the things my dreams of children were made up of, and more. I am so so blessed to be their momma!