Cultivating Jewels Show Notes 029 –

Cultivating Jewels Show Notes 029 –

Topic: This week we are doing a Solo episode all on Chapter Three Getting There in the friendship book (Friendship Matters) I wrote with my dear friend Rebekah Hargraves in 2020.

What we chat about in today’s episode:
This chapter talks about the blessing that is friendship and ways in which we can go about showing ourselves friendly in order to then have friends (Proverbs 18:24).

– The importance our ancestors placed on community and friendship

– In our hustle culture, we tend to believe we are too busy for friends and that we can go about life on our own

– Their is a blessing and need for life-giving friendships in our lives

– We have to be friendly in order to have friends. Sometimes this means getting out of our comfort zones and going places to meet new people

– Five blessings of friendship

Friends enrich our lives
* Given the fact that we are all unique individuals, our friendships will all be different
* We can and should be friends with people who are different than we are
* The importance of being friends with unbelievers
* Friendship isn’t always lightharded, happy moments but if we are in iron sharpening iron, Biblical relationship with each other, this too can be a beautiful thing

Friends improve our health
*Holistically – what impacts our spirit goes onto affect our physical health
* It has been studied and proven that people in community, in friendship are healthier (even at times living longer) than those who are not.

Friends can help us cope
* For those with drug or alcohol use related issues, having friends to talk to during hardship has proven to be a blessing in that people can turn to their friends in time of need rather than the drug/alcohol.

Friends Learn from each other
* We can learn from each other by learning to enjoy what our friends enjoy – learning their hobbies or simply spending time with them as they enjoy something
* Think over what your friends have taught you and what you may have to teach your friends. What is something you could teach your friends that would enrich their lives?

Friends help when family cannot
*Proverbs 27:10 Do not forsake a friend who lives nearby, in favor of going to a brothers house who lives far away
* This is not to say there is anything wrong with family…sometimes for whatever reason friends can help when family cannot.
* Simple gestures go a long way!

Friends Provide Support and Accountability
*It takes the work and intentionality of building friendship to have relational equity to be able to provide this for our friends.
* We need to be careful whose live we are speaking into and who we are allowing to speak into our lives.
* It is my encouragement to you to be this type of friend to others!

We close this chapter by taking Proverbs 18:24 – to have a friend, you must show yourself friendly and unpacking it by looking at three ways to be a better friend.

1). Listening
3 best listening practices – give the speaker our full intention, repeat what you have heard, give your friend center stage, practice the pause and put your phone down!

2). Study other people
Make it your mission to get to know people!
Make it your goal that your friends can truly say they are known by you!

3). Love
Love is the bond of unity
1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Resources mentioned: Friendship Matters Book –

Quotes from our Chat:
“Even if we could do life alone, what a depressing and lonely road. Think about the blessing, the vibrancy, the color, the life your friends bring into your life.”

“Friendship is the Lord’s construct, it’s His creation and it really, truly delights His heart when His children are in friendship with each other.”

“It can be a problem when all of our friends are looking the same. We want our lives to be enriched, and when we are all looking the same, hearing the exact same thing from all of our friends (they all have the same view point, beliefs, etc.) it’s then that our life is not made as enriched because we are missing out on differences that people can bring into our lives.”

“When we walk through something the Lord gives us a lesson, but its never just a lesson for ourselves. We are to take that lesson and teach others in our lives. This allows them to grow in their walks with the Lord.”

“Even in what was a simple gesture, it wasn’t simple to us, it meant so much to us. It meant we were seen, it meant she know how to take care of a basic need of ours. … may I encourage you to step into
that role? You may not know how a simply gesture is going to bless a friend. Whether its bringing them a meal, offering to do a chore for them, bringing them cofee, sitting down and chatting with them, bringing them a flower…it doesn’t have to be an extraordinary act we do. Let me encourage you though to do those simple dees, you never know when it will bless someone.”

“It is these friends who know every bit of your life – the good, the bad, and the ugly – who are able to hold you closest during your painful times and cheer the loudest during the joyful moments. This type of friendship is a rare treasure in our lives.”

“Practice the pause, we are so used to responding right away, maybe especially because we are in a go, go, go culture and if we respond right away that means we can move on. Let me encourage you to practice the pause. To pause and pray. Sometimes we don’t know how to respond, we don’t have to try to make ourselves look good by giving the best response, the best thing we can do is to pause and pray.”

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